God's calling.. am i hearing?

Last night i had a very long talk with my sister. yes, my sister. its been a long while and each time i seem to be able to receive very wise counsel from her. thank God for Godly siblings!

yes it has been a long while and i had been a Jonah. its tiring to run. Its tiring to hide. its more so in denial! my sis exact words were.. "I had always sensed such a strong destiny upon your life..." sister you know wad.. i know. I had always thought that God loved me the most. at least thats what i think. therefore He must have a great plan for my life. but so what if i am God's 'plan A' if i am not even willing to be willing?God would choose to use a 'plan C' the moment he chooses to carry the cross. i want to learn obedience Lord.. teach me to live and keep Your commands.

in recent weeks, God brought many things to my remembrance.. the promises.. His Word upon my life. I had to change. I can't live this lifestyle any longer. enough of being the devil's beanbag to be pushed around day and night by him. its sickening.

there are 3 things which sis mentioned to me..

1) we need Spiritual mentors in our lives.
2) we need peers whom we can draw inspiration and inspire.
3) we need deciples.

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Prayer for my life -

Lord i ask for your power and anointing to be upon me. Its been so long and i really miss you so much. I missed the times when i lingered so long in Your presence, hearing and conversing with You. You were my everything.. so be my everything once again. I am willing to give up all that i have in exchange for all that You are Lord. abba, i wan to walk the rest of my life with You. making you my top priority. teach me to be obedient to Your leading,Your Word, Your leadership. take away every pride and sin nature in me God.

Holy Spirit You are my friend. speak to me once again..break this heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh, ever so tender and sensitive to Your calls. walk with me.. You are the paracletos.. the friend who walk alongside me. speak to me daily... speak to me daily Lord. I need to hear from You once again. I want to hear from you Lord. When trouble comes i trust in You, for i know you will lead me through. Your the shepherd of whom i can depend.. through the day through the night.. i know You're always by my side.

Jesus i give you the key to my heart. take all of me in exchange for all of you. NO ONE can ever take Your place ever again. I won't allow anyone to do that anymore! I will be steadfast, inmovable. make me the head and not tha tail..above and not beneath. raise me up God. let the favor of God, the favor of men be upon my life once again. let the river of God flow mightily once more. I want to be a carrier of Your presence. Lord..make me Your vessel. i may have cracks and impurities.. But Your grace is sufficient for me. Your love will lead me through. Your hands are not too short that You cannot touch me. God..if You are willing. If you are willing you can Lord.. restore to me the joy of my salvation. restore to me the years of my wonderings..restore to me the years that the locust has stolen away. make me strong in Your sight. Change what the devil meant for evil into Your good! help me daily i pray, as i rebuild my walls. one hand i shall build and the other i shall fight. though the enemy will come in..but God You are my deliverer. You are my victorious warrior! You are living and powerful! You are the spoken Word! You are so real... Raise up your standard in my life!

In Jesus mighty name!

Amen. Amen!