Once i have turned my face from thee
yet You sought me and You cleansed me
made me whole again
Jesus my savior my beloved and friend
You praises i bring, from my heart i will sing

O draw me, o draw me away
Messiah today to Your presence to stay
O Jesus now change me and mould me
that i can be
ever more true to thee

2 days to fire conference!!

I wanna go jogging!! but i am very lazy!! ok..we will see how it goes after i blog =p

Today after teaching, i met up with bro chris and bro qz... the leaders of my life. of curse..they are great people! people of substance..people of influence. like me.. ok i mean..me like them=p anyway, we met up at tiong bahru food centre! and i ordered a $3 Fried kway teow! and 2 words to describe it. It sucks. i lined up so long..and then finally got to try something so bad...but at least the fellowship was fruitful.

we went to bro chris office at AIA for awhile for chit chat because he needed to get some of his stuffs..being a manager is really not easy. at such late hour you still got to return to the office..=/ how tiring! anyhow, if your getting paid as much as he is.. i'm sure you wouldnt mind=)
then we adjourned to 'the legends', the country club behind park mall. it was really nice! the style of the design was very 'colonial' style. It was a perfect place for chill out after a day's work. we went to the billiards room and of course to play a couple of games of billiards. Its been so long since i last touch a cue.. actually not that long la..but in the past, i used to train daily. that was really a life of no life. err.. ok if u know what i mean. guess wad.. i really played like a noob today. very inconsistent.. hhaha. but thats actually acceptable considering i seldom touch billiards now! its about relaxing now.. no longer competitive snooker. heh..

after that we sat down to have a few drinks and some peanuts.. and we were just chit chatting. then the topic on leadership came up. bro chris taught me something which i will bear in mind always! he said, "cedric, a true leader leads with his heart! whereas, a manager jus manages and assign things". simple? not really.. its easier said than done. I have been trying to manage people for too long! well..maybe someday if you put me as a branch manager of macdonalds, i might do a good job.. but definitely not, if you want me to lead lives! you need to do it all out of the love you have! and heres the difference between the church and the world! many out ther just wants to lead, manage, assign and direct...how many really do it out of passion and love?

this is something i knew i must learn! if i want to be a good leader, i must learn to do things with my heart. besides, when Moses led the children of Isreal out of Eygypt.. he went up to the mountain to seek the Lord for directions..he could have just assign the way he wanted things to be. But he knew that only when God directs, then he can get the best for his people! that i say is a true leader! and i pray that i can be like him.

I know that i can be a good leader if i obey the commands of the Lord!

tmr is friday! 2 more days to fire conference!! I am so excited!! Its been so long and i really want to see my favorite evangelist face to face! i hope he will give an alter call to empower people to reach out or to be great evangelist! i think...if he comes to me and single me out.. i will faint on the spot! then I will sell both my bikes and go to Africa! haha.

Lord its been awhile.. let me see Your glory.. the pure at heart shall see You! let tmr cell group meeting be anointed.. as i lead the praise and offering, use me as Your vessel! Let me not speak with my understanding.. but let Your Spirit flow through me. In Jesus mighty name...

time to party Lord!

Thank You for the cross the mighty cross
that God Himself should die for such as us
and everyday we're changed into Your image more and more
yes by the cross we've truly been transformed

and we're so amazed
and we give You praise
that You would save us at such a cost
and we're so amazed
and we give You praise
for the power of the cross!

reflections..how time flies..it was a great journey!

I was on the way back..i was just reflecting upon my life. I remembered so clearly.. Young as i was.. I had so much passion to serve God to the best of my abilities! I wanted to do all that i could just so i could be near to His presence...to be ther when He calls! I pray that this hunger would come back to me.. three times more than ever! In Jesus name! Lord..my food is to do Your will..let me decrease daily and with every decrease in me, Lord You take the increase!

Reinhard Bonke is in town!!! I have long wanted to attend his meetings! I had even wanted to go to Africa just so i could attend his crusade!! I really love him because he is one of the few people who are still alive today whom i want to model my life after! what an inspiration he is! Really thank God for his ministry! this coming saturday, i am going to attend his fire conference!!!!! I am...nothing will stop me from going! I am going to line up immediately after my teaching! Because i know God is not through with me.. He is never! and i know i will receive my visions and dreams once again! Lord, if You can use anything Lord, You can use me! I am willing to give up all once again... just so i could start from zero.. hear the cries of my heart Lord. enlarge my territories i pray.

I was recalling what i had learn back in bible school. when pst Kong shared about the person in the Holy Spirit. He is more than an 'it'. He is a person..someone as real to you as your very breath. Just take a deep breath and you could very well experience Him! But there are afew characteristics that would either draw or repel Him.

He is attracted to a person with a lamb nature in him!
-meekness!
-loving!
-merciful!

meekness is not equal to weakness.. its soft in approach but strong in might! I pray that these characteristics would be birth in me!

the Holy Spirit is a friend.. He walks alongside..He is the one who cries with you...He is the one who rejoices with you..He is the one who walks you home each day and comforts you. and one thing i know.. as i write.. He is so well pleased..He loves me..He loves my company..all else can wait!

I long for the day when i can do great and mighty exploits in His name! I know that day isnt far...God is preparing me! He is moulding my character..He is about to launch me forth! It feels like the battle for 'helms deep'...a battle is about to rage! but the outcome is concluded..The Lord wins. and therefore i win! how amazing my God is! In my lifetime..i pray that i will have the oppotunity to witness the greatess amount of souls coming to the Lord! my life will be such a blessing to nations!

open up my eyes to see Lord.. open up my ears to hear Your word... open up my heart to perceive what You have and about to do! give me understanding.. grant me wisdom in all that i do! cleanse my heart that i may see Your face.. as i sanctify myself, do great wonders through me in Jesus name! raise me up as Your evangelist..to win the lost for You daily...to plunder hell and to populate heaven! make me an overcomer! make me a blessing to my nation and the nations around! I am still young and Lord You have a destiny for my life! open the windows of heaven over me! Let me see the hands of God moving so evidently in my life!

i am so filled with Your love Lord.. I cant stop praising Your works because they are simply fantasbulous!!! thanks for the 2nd chance..thanks for the lessons over the years.. Love You abba!!

superman will be out tmr.. but i am not at all excited.. why? i dunno. today i met up with raymond, Davin, QiZheng.. these are my buddies whom i have known for ages. I have always been so proud of Davin! He is a cell leader today leading the most excited bunch of people! He was the one who brought me to church when i was 15! how time flies... tho many of us are so often caught up with work, persuits of life.. yet there is always that sense of belonging when i am with them. they are my family! and simply put it.. i am willing to die for them.
Raymond and Qizheng of course, they are my buddies too! they are like big brother to me.. i remembered the old days when i always had no money and they often chip in to treat me..to bless me. today i am blessed and i in turn would want to bless them in any ways possible! I thank God for such friendship forged.. even tho our characters are so different! but its like a jigsaw puzzle.. without one it would never be complete! thank you guys! I am always praying for you! lets run this race together and end it off well!

oh yeah...back to story.. we went to the gym today!! yes GYM!! why? because i wanted to lose weight. QZ too.Dav and ray jus wanted to spend some time together. besides, we seldom get to fellowship with dav. anyway, i didnt manage to run on the threadmill(dunno how to spell)... because it was so crowded!!! being singaporeans, many hog(also dunno how to spell) just so they could make the best out of their $2.50! sigh... oh well...we ended up going for dinner shortly..at least the ban mian that we ate was reasonably good..and the rojak was fantastic!!! yummyummmmm...

i really enjoyed myself today tho it wasnt a very long fellowship. gone were the days when we used to have cell group meetings in school when many of us jus got saved back in ACS. we would go to the clocktower and the school gave us a room to ourselves!! we painted it, we slept in it, we had cg in it, we had deliverance in it...and in the end, we helped to destroy it becos the school was tearing it down! haha.. how memorable!

i know that God is preparing us all for the next phase in our lives! and the past victories only serve as a reminder that...God is faithful..He had been and He always will be!!

thank You Jesus for 7 wonderful years! greater years ahead!!!

Lord!! Waive my fines!! I wanna go Taiwan! i am so suagu!! havnt been on mission trips!! let me go! its the in-thing now!!!

God is good!!!! Lord send me to Taiwan!!

Today was a day of rest for me! stayed home all the way till about 6pm before i left for prayer meet!

Its been a long while since iw ent for any prayermeeting. the last i remembered was before we moved into expo! and till now.. finally i went again! Today pst cheekiang led the prayermeet! i felt it was awesome! why? because the presence of God was so tangible.

I reached about 7.15pm...by then they were already worshipping. It was pretty crowded and i couldnt find anyone i know so i stood all the way at the back. In my heart, i was expectant for the move of God! because God spoke to me the day before that He had a Word for me. somehow i know that.. dunno how...somehow i just know that!

I lifted my hands and began to worship God..though the place wasnt very well air-conditioned..yet i didnt feel stuffy. it wasnt long before i felt the sweet, comfortable feeling.the sweet tangible presence. ok..im not trying to be flaky here...i really mean it! it was so amazing..maybe it has been too long? perhaps! but i was really hungry for more of Him!!maybe you get this when you miss out too long? but even as i was on the way on my bike to ymca, i was quietly praying..."Lord, make me like a sponge! i need Your touch, Your anointing once again!" i was crying out for my heart to be sensitized to the Spirit. I really missed the past when i could come to Him with such close intimacy. one that was without motives, simply to enjoy every moment. But i know.. God has something greater now for me! How exciting!

after worship, pastor shared a verse from the bible, in Joshua 3:5... It was the story about Isreal crossing the Jordan...

V5. And Joshuasaid to the people, " Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you!"

the Lord will do wonders through me!!!would He really do that? "Its been so long, Lord.. " i was quietly asking.. but i was expectant anyhow!

the past few weeks were really a season of sanctification for me! I realised that there are sooo many things that needed to be readjusted in my life! there were so many character flaws that surfaced but for a reason! God was dealing with my life. I always remembered wad my ex-cell leader sister Eileen told me before... "cedric, your like a raw diamond..and God has so much he wants to do in Your life. but like all raw diamonds, it must go through a refining, purification before it becomes the priceless diamond that God had intended you to be!"

It wasnt exactly a very nice process to go through... murphy's law was constantly at work at the same time..it all felt like i was a plan of God that would be such a huge threat to the devil that he must send his smelly demons all at once to mess up my life! but as i was going through everything, i somehow began to lean more towards God..because indeed, apart from Him.. i can do nothing.

Lord You are so amazing..my Words are so limited! I am running out of words to describe Your beauty.. You are so faithful.. Your my all in all. I pray that you would take me.. all that i am.. all that i have.. as i lay them at Your feet.. Holy Spirit.. walk alongside me. the battles are never mine.. but i am fighting them with and for You. a once defeated soldier is ready to pick up his armour, his sword once again! Lord wouldnt you raise me up once more..

Today i was sharing with Elle about all that has happened. I know that God will take us both to the next level! I am really not concerned about all that people think.. all that people see..as long as God is happy..i am.

sometimes, when i meet my friends who are not in church..i cant help but wonder what kind of a history maker would each of these become? in order for myself to find out, i am determined to introduce this destiny maker called Jesus. I want to be part of their success! someone whom they would mention in their thanksgiving speeches..I wan to be an influence to the people around me. it doesnt matter if i had not been a good testimony in the past, it doesnt even matter even if i was unfaithful.. what matters is now. I pray for strength daily!

to reach out, to reclaim, to expand and to conquer...

In Jesus mighty name!

Good Morning Holy Spirit!

let today be anotherday of victory! In Jesus name i pray!

here is my heart...make it Your sanctuary....

I am so deeply in love!! whats this???!!!!!

jus got back from jb.. im so tired! but i am still so in awe of what God is doing in my life!

i know that changes does not take place in a day, a week or even a month...but i also know that God will see me through! These few weeks have been awesome for me! so many things seems to be happening and it seemingly wants to take me down..but God had been with me.

i am listening to a very old song now.. the words are so meaningful..they are really the words from my heart...

Lord of my life i love You
Lord of my days i trust in You
living beneath the shelter of Your wings
my heart's safe!

For when i am lost, You find me
When i'm in need You comfort me
Lord of my life, You are my secret place!

Clothe me in Your presence Lord
draw me near to You
with all my heart i long to see Your face
living to be near You Lord
I long to see Your face
Lord forever Your my secret place!

Your my peace
Your my rest
Your my secret place!

Love You so much Jesus! i am falling in love with You over and over again! i mean it~


Today i watched Cars with Raymond and Elle! Its so good! laughed my head off! i loved the part when the tow truck and lighting went to scare those big headed trucks.. hahaa..! worth the $7 i paid for!!

by the way, i am so proud of my classmates!! they got into the semi-finals for superband!! their group name is MAN TOU!! cool rite? the drummer and keyboardist are my classmates! the singer is from the media arts department in school too! power!! i should have joined! but too bad i went to Thailand. well...there are many of such chances in future!!

Its been awhile since i spoken to feb! called her just now! glad all's well with her! really thank God for placing her in my life! such an awesome friend! small but mighty! =) so many things to thank God for! above all, i thank God for giving me so many 2nd chances! Lord Your the best!! i am praying that my fines will be waived! And if it does, i am going to Taiwan for emerge!! Lord hear my prayers!!! Let town council waive my fines!! In Jesus name! let me go for missions before i enter ns!!

In recent days, i am beginning to treasure the friends that God allow to come into my life. Of course there are those whom i feel are just merely 'hi' 'bye' friends. thank God for you anyhow.. there are those whom i thought are great but somehow they could never stay in the circle of trust..pity. But i wish you all the best too!!~

I pray that i will be like Jesus.. someone whom can walk into the lives of people! to step into their boats no matter who they are..at least to leave behind something. because i am called to be the light of the world and salt of the earth. I pray that my life is an influence to those around me! Jesus sat with the tax collectors.. Jesus ate with the sinners.. I pray for a big heart.. one that doesnt despise no matter how much i dislike that person. my God has a big heart.. and He will use me to find every need to meet it, every hurt to heal it, In Jesus name.

I always believed that every life is so precious in the sight of God. no matter how insignificant they may be now, God can turn him/her around! As long as they are willing to allow God to step into their boats! If you are sinking right now... its time to allow Jesus' miracles to take over. The bible says that God is knocking constantly at the door of our hearts.. are we going to open it humbly and say, "Lord its me.. come in" or are we going to let the mocking voices of our friends stop us? we have only one life to live...make it count! and only when we live it for the Lord, then it will ever count.

one day, my whole family will come to the Lord.. one day, God will prosper everything that i set my hands upon. because i am a person of destiny! I am really very happy.. because i know that God hath something so great prepared for me! I am so excited.. every step i take is so filled with expectancy! i have never really felt this way before.. God is so amazing. This is more than any relationship i have ever had! this is my first love. no words can explain how i feel inside.. its love in the first degree.

Tmr i will be having combine prayer meet at YMCA! i am so excited! its been awhile since i went for a prayermeet. I know that God will speak to me! I know that my prayer would count...because i am samuel! God wouldn't allow my words to fall to the ground! when i pray, the devil trembles.. because he is scared.. he is. he can run..but he can't hide. and thats a pretty amusing sight to see! anyhow.. I know that God will tkae my Cell group to the next level! I wan to raise up good helpers.. i pray for boldness as i speak into my members' life! I pray for wisdom and anointing to be upon me. I pray for grace and mercy to flow out of me because Jesus lives in me!

its been awhile... Holy Spirit.. lets have an adventure!

a song from my heart..

I want to sing, until i am lost in Your love..
till i'm found in Your presence..
worshipping before Your throne
moved by Your Spirit
entering into Your courts
how precious this moment
Lord i want You to know

Its You, You who have won my heart
taken me into Your arms
comforted me like a friend
Your love, surrounded me from from the start
I never want to be apart
from You ever again

just read through... so many gramatical errors.. haha.. can understand can le.. =PP

nites all... bed's calling... i must respond to this alter call!!

A Word in season!

Today during service, i was physically exhausted... but praise and worship was so awesome for me! I felt the presence of God so strongly! and yeah! Ivan came with me for service today and he responded to the alter call! God your so awesome! You are a mighty savior! I am so happy each time the friends around me get to know my savior and hey!! God has His best plans for your life! You don't have to wander any longer!

anyway, i really felt it was a divine appointment today both for Ivan and myself! He has never been to church and today is his first time! i could tell he was quite curious about everything that was going on.. but i was like that too last time! in fact i was nervous because i didnt really liked huge crowds! But over the years, God began to boost my confidence..to teach me to stand before people! I know He is preparing me for the day when i can be like Reinhard Bonke.. to stand before millions and witness thousands coming to the Lord! Lord... i know that day will come. prepare me. i am 22.. make my life count for you! Amen.

anyhow, i am really happy for Ivan.. praying that he will allow God to speak to him, allow God to slowly help him with his life. Because..... God cares!

wooo.. nice color. =p

In the morning i was just sharing about how God spoke to Ray to me about my life being like Peter's right??? And guess wad... today pastor preached about Peter! I felt it was so coincidental. no. It was a Godincident! It was pre planned! Pst preached about how many times we are going in circles! and i felt that way!! not too long ago for a long time! I want to hear the voice of Faith!! I wan an encounter with Destiny!

Men sees situations...but God always look at the potentials! and I pray in my lifetime.. the tragedy of of adding weath to the tombstone will not be repeated i pray! God make me a light for all to see! I wan to shine because Your Word says that my light shall shine ever brighter unto the perfect day!

In Jesus' name....

Today after service, i fellowshipped with my members. I started to feel more love towards my members. They are my family. God had placed them in my life at this point for a reason. I pray that i will be at my best, to bring them the maximum impact. Thank You for believing in me Lord.. You have never remembered my past.. but always reminding me of my future i have in You! I am so amazed.

today i saw my sis! actually, i have never really said things that i am about to say.. but sis..if you are reading.. I am so proud to be my sister's brother. thats also why i like to introduce my friends to you. because like me... your so cool... pretty. for me is handsome. ok. i really mean it..

after we fellowshipped, i went back with Ivan and we met up with Andrew and chrislyn. we went to Elle house to watch DVD.. and i fell asleep! I was so tired... Elle told me that i woke up and started to pace about then went back to sleep in a different position. oh yeah..just for your info, i used to sleepwalk when i was younger.. so many funny experiences!! once 1 year back when i went to my buddy house to stay... in the middle of the night i started to sleepwalk....both of them were shocked! i walked to the wardrobe and opened the door. then i stood there not doing anything and my buddy whois also my senior from lasalle, thought i wanted to use the toilet...so he led me to the toilet and put me in front of the toilet bowl. then the next day he told me about it..and i couldnt even recall anything! by the way.. i didnt use the toilet at all! If i tell my M.O in the army..really wonder if he will freak out. maybe i might sleepwalk and take the rifles and play war. thats kinda scary...

tomorrow is going to be a long day.. need to appeal for my fine!!! sigh... wad a bother that is! Andrew wanna take me to eat so many things! He told me about the famous rojak in toa payoh, the famous prawn ball! and so much more! i think thats the good thing about being a chef... you know where all the good food are! Ivan is also a chef.. I think next time can ask him to teach me a couple of dishes! I had always wanted to learn cooking!! but no time only.. so Ivan must teach me ok? I teach you bible you teach me cooking! set. =P

I am so thankful to God for all the meaningful friendships He had placed into my life. This past month had been fabulous! through friends, God began to show Himself to me in a different light!! I know that God will raise me up.. God has been preparing me for that kairos moment! Theres more to life than this!! I can fulfill my destiny in Him because He is for me!

a verse that i am meditating on....

the secrets of the Lord are with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant!

Lord.. Show me Your covenant! Let me breakthrough constantly.. let me live each day feeding on your promises! Daily Rhema from You..Revelations that the world has yet to know! make me strong in Your might.. a carrier of revival! a daniel in the midst of the lions! be my deliverer! Let no men's words take me down because my strength is in You! I fear no evil because You are with me! I can have Love,Joy,peace! No weapon formed against me shall prosper because You are my shield! I am Your servant Lord.. teach me to obey Yur commands.. To live and to keep Your Word.

Love You abba!

i am tired... Lord grand me journey mercy as i ride... please also turn off the aircon =p its really freezing cold!

Rock my World Lord!

Long and fruitful night...

just got home from Raymond house.. i am feeling a little sleepy..actually..no.. i am feeling extremely sleepy! but i cant sleep because i am going to the airport in about 20mins time to pick Elle up! miss her so much.
had a very long talk with Raymond..been soooo long sinced we had such quality time together.

bro, if you are reading...just want to say that i really treasure our friendship alot! and yes...i am willing to die for you too. I am willing to give up any other friendship just for this! and honestly, if you are a woman..i would marry you! because you are simply awesome! love you bro! Thanks for everything you have given to me over the years! you are really an armour bearer of my life. I too am willing to serve you..one day we shall march victoriously into heaven! buddies forever!

right now, i am overwhelmed by the love of God.. His undying love for me! God had been so faithful through it all.. through the good, the bad and the ugly! what have i done to deserve such unconditional love?! Thank you Lord.. you leave me speechless. I love you Lord.. i am willing to be that vessel whom you can use as long as You are willing.

Raymond shared a word which really impacted my life! He says that i am like Simon Peter. Peter denied Jesus 3 times! I have gone through 3 major setbacks. and each time it really didnt reflect Jesus in me. There were fear, shame, denial in me. When Jesus came back, He went first to Peter and no one else. Peter felt the Lord's hands and it was real. the nail-pierced hands.. and the Lord asked Peter 3 times if he loved Him. the 3 times that Peter confessed that he did, God restored to him the faith, the power of God and the joy of his salvation. God is merciful..He wants to restore to me the years that the locust had stolen away.. the years of my wonderings.

God's promises upon my life are yes and amen. what God had ordained and spoken, no man can cast it down. and if my God is for me..then WHO can be against me? because He is with me...my cup shall overflow with abundance! goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!

I am so happy these days. although many things are also happening and time and again, it seemed to want to take me out..But God has been turning it around for His good! somehow..i know that i need not worry. i really have so much i want to say..but let me digest everything that God had been speaking to me before i share anymore.

I want to fulfill the call of God in my life. I know it takes time.. and i know my God shall bring it to pass. just wan to share the lyrics of a song that i love..

FEEL THE NAILS

You told me Jesus died, for my transgressions...
and He paid the price, a long long time ago.
when He gave His life for me, on a hill called calvary
and theres something else i want to know..

does He still. feel the nails...
everytime i fail..
can He hear the crowd cry crucify again?
am i causing Him pain?
then i know i've got to change..
as i just can't bear the thoughts of hurting Him..

Holy..Holy..Holy is the Lord...

God,You are so amazing.. thanks for this life you have given to me.. it is Yours to take Lord. just never let me idle and waste it away. make the best out of me God. anoint me.. thanks for the friends you have placed into my life.. i really treasure them. God you know me through and through. let my intentions be right..let my motives be clear. love you loads.. Jesus.. help me keep awake this day! use me mightily i pray.
bless Feb's family.. let your blessings be upon my dear friend. Bless the dear ones in my life.. Elle, Raymond, Arton, Sister, Muyin, QZ and all my buddies. make me a man so full of the anointing. let my prayers move mountains and stop rain. because You have called me samuel so that You will not allow my words to fall to the ground! thank you God.. there is indeed none like you.

tired but overwhelmed.....

i am in love once again... from my heart of hearts.........

Lord, i love u.

God's calling.. am i hearing?

Last night i had a very long talk with my sister. yes, my sister. its been a long while and each time i seem to be able to receive very wise counsel from her. thank God for Godly siblings!

yes it has been a long while and i had been a Jonah. its tiring to run. Its tiring to hide. its more so in denial! my sis exact words were.. "I had always sensed such a strong destiny upon your life..." sister you know wad.. i know. I had always thought that God loved me the most. at least thats what i think. therefore He must have a great plan for my life. but so what if i am God's 'plan A' if i am not even willing to be willing?God would choose to use a 'plan C' the moment he chooses to carry the cross. i want to learn obedience Lord.. teach me to live and keep Your commands.

in recent weeks, God brought many things to my remembrance.. the promises.. His Word upon my life. I had to change. I can't live this lifestyle any longer. enough of being the devil's beanbag to be pushed around day and night by him. its sickening.

there are 3 things which sis mentioned to me..

1) we need Spiritual mentors in our lives.
2) we need peers whom we can draw inspiration and inspire.
3) we need deciples.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prayer for my life -

Lord i ask for your power and anointing to be upon me. Its been so long and i really miss you so much. I missed the times when i lingered so long in Your presence, hearing and conversing with You. You were my everything.. so be my everything once again. I am willing to give up all that i have in exchange for all that You are Lord. abba, i wan to walk the rest of my life with You. making you my top priority. teach me to be obedient to Your leading,Your Word, Your leadership. take away every pride and sin nature in me God.

Holy Spirit You are my friend. speak to me once again..break this heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh, ever so tender and sensitive to Your calls. walk with me.. You are the paracletos.. the friend who walk alongside me. speak to me daily... speak to me daily Lord. I need to hear from You once again. I want to hear from you Lord. When trouble comes i trust in You, for i know you will lead me through. Your the shepherd of whom i can depend.. through the day through the night.. i know You're always by my side.

Jesus i give you the key to my heart. take all of me in exchange for all of you. NO ONE can ever take Your place ever again. I won't allow anyone to do that anymore! I will be steadfast, inmovable. make me the head and not tha tail..above and not beneath. raise me up God. let the favor of God, the favor of men be upon my life once again. let the river of God flow mightily once more. I want to be a carrier of Your presence. Lord..make me Your vessel. i may have cracks and impurities.. But Your grace is sufficient for me. Your love will lead me through. Your hands are not too short that You cannot touch me. God..if You are willing. If you are willing you can Lord.. restore to me the joy of my salvation. restore to me the years of my wonderings..restore to me the years that the locust has stolen away. make me strong in Your sight. Change what the devil meant for evil into Your good! help me daily i pray, as i rebuild my walls. one hand i shall build and the other i shall fight. though the enemy will come in..but God You are my deliverer. You are my victorious warrior! You are living and powerful! You are the spoken Word! You are so real... Raise up your standard in my life!

In Jesus mighty name!

Amen. Amen!

Beany beans bun

Beany beans bun

such a sleepy day...

Its 6pm! and guess wad?!! I'm home!! John's over.. i think i need some of his enthusiasm man.. he is practicing his strokes behind me now..how guilty=/

anyway, just had fried sotong mee jus now! of course it tasted good. hmmm..

yesterday john made a comment.. "cedric, how come now you so quiet already? not as noisy as before..." come to think of it, i have really mellowed down so much. but thats not too bad too..i think thats where we get the phrase - silence is golden.

maybe perhaps, i have become a more 'thinking' or 'listening' person. good also..because God gave me one mouth and 2 ears..thers a reason for that=p I shall express more of myself over here!

recently, i read some of my old sermons which i have written over the years. some of which i had prepared and used for the lasalle cg meetings! actually, some of them are really good! because i took many qutes from pst kong, reinhard bonke! really love the ministry of both of these two!

Reinhard bonke once said in his video.. "one day when i die, i want to march gloriously into heaven with the people whom i have won for the Lord!"

I pray that this will be my life mission and greatest aim! not to be the greatest earner.. but soul winner. In Jesus name.

Its time i allow God to mould my character, life and shape my destiny once again! abba father...here is my life..make it your sanctuary.


today is friday..it is suppose to be a very happening day because it is weekend!! but i dread every saturday mornings! because i got to wake up early in the morning to teach! not that i dun enjoy teaching...but just that i really dread waking up early! last night i stayed over at john house...i initiated to 'ton' that is to stay up...but then i became the first to fall asleep. guess i have not been sleeping enough for too long thats why. right now as i am typing, i am feeling a little exhausted too! so maybe i might be posting some nonsense...i dunno. doesnt matter..anyway i will just write wad i feel like and whatever that goes through my mind at this point.

Guess wad!!! town council sent me a registered letter!! i received 2 parking offense few days earlier and it totalled $600!!!!!!! i bind u devil in Jesus name! i break your curse!! this will only make me pray against you more and now its with every moment when i think of the fine! bind u! curse ur curse! u noob!

ok i feel better.

anyway, i will go and appeal to the MP again this coming monday. sigh...so many of these unneccessary things to do! oh well..

my room is in a total mess now. i really wan to do it up nicely...but with some of my dad's things here. i just dun have any motivation. so technically speaking..its not really my room yet! but soon it will.. soon soon...

i really wanna start jogging...because i am so heavy now. the more i look into the mirror, the more i am beginning to find the image so strange. haha...by the way, someone commented that i look like brother KC.. haha! he is my church bassist. hmmm...i really dunno in what ways..but i think that he is really good looking! jus shed alittle weight and its picture perfect. heh.

okok...no more supper for me. thats final..the next time i post anythings about going for supper or i wen for supper, i will....buy u all a drink! deal? deal.

ok very very sleepy now.. i go catch a nap..


zzzzzzzzZzZzZzzzzZzZZzZzZzzzzzz

Coolness!!!!

as i am blogging...i am looking at my childhood friend's DTexpress!!! wow..its so cooll..imagine you can practice your drums into the wee hours!! oh yeah..i am currently at his place. its at bukit purmei! not so far from wher i live but if your taking the train, it can be very very troublesome! ok..back to the drumset!

just yesterday i saw the advance DTexpress at yamaha.. it cost a hefty $5k! crazy amount..with that i rather invest in a DW.. *droolssss* oh yeah.. i tried the one in church!! it cost $18k!! my goodness.thats the price of a brand new bike! oh well.. meanwhile.. i can only pray over my shopping list.

Today went to KTV with Zoe, Jia wei and TZ. how funny is that..Zoe dun even know them at all but yet she didnt mind me asking them along! haha..i think she just needs her mic and she will be happy. anyway, we sang so many songs!! yeah...of course i sang my favorite!! David tao!! i pray that God can change my singing and vocal power to his!! i am beginning to like one of his song..

NI AI WO HAI SHI TA?!!! (love me or him)

yeah...very fun song with a wide range! from low to very high. and i was telling zoe how feb can sing so high that even when she transposed one particular song to the max...she found that it was ok only. i'm so envious but thats ok..thats why im learning to play the harmonica..that would take over my singing when i play the guitar! haha.

Today was an interesting day...why? because it seemed that i did so many things in one day! met up so many people! spend so much money =X i need to really give myself a budget from tmr on..i must be a good steward! and oh... today zoe took my bike back home. we had jiawei and TZ as escort too! the way she gets on my bike and gets off is exactly the way elle would! so awkard! anyway, thats their problem. as long as i look good. all else is secondary..hahaha..

ok..actually i am not such a thick skin person.. i am joking 99% of the time! sometimes when i say all the very kuazhang things, its really harmless! well except for one.. i'm good looking. At LEAST God thinks so! heh=) He is my self-esteem. nothing else can tear it down!

oh yeah...and Eunice asked if i ended going for the KTV because i asked her to go earlier in the day but she had cell group. wasted. Come to think of it, known Eunice for almost 5 years now! shes really a great pal! my supper ministry member. she must be the only girl whom i know thats afraid of any other living things except humans. weird. but thats the thing about her that makes her Eunice. thanks for your friendship girl!

ok..back to John's room! his room is like a mini studio..its fitted with orange lamp which provides a very cosy feel..and as i am blogging, the 3 of them are drinking outside in the living room. and of course, i dun like drinking and i dun smoke. so its more constructive blogging my time away in the room. and yeah..its really really cosy! nice! i wouldnt mind a room like dat.. not too big not too small.. coolness!

John dun like my bike..he say it looks like christmas tree because of my L.E.D light which i installed under the seat. btw, he is retaking his class 2b license and he had the intention to buy a aprilia. hmm...eye candy but when it comes to maintenance, any others like me would come to one same conclusion!! => VERY EXPENSIVE!!!!!! he kept asking me for opinion.. and like what others told me before.. follow your heart.

how true aye?


so what is my heart telling me now? ?
maybe its time to sleep. golden rule when you stay over with a group of friends... BE KIASU!
if you don't sleep first...you tend to end up sleeping on the couch or the floor! so while they are still outside.... i better go "choop" the bed. ahahaha.. too bad guys.. the fittest survive!



blog again tmr!! gd nite all!

So noisy!!!! =X

my god... early in the morning i am getting renovation sounds from above! and of all things... the drilling sounds!! GrrRRrr..

ok..i am going to buy my drumset! and i am going to practice from 6am to 9am daily!if i can wake up that is=p
oh well..i'll just treat it as a morning call for today...but if it persist..i might so crazy.

today is going to be a hectic day!so many things to do and i wanna go jb!!!i wanna KTV!!!i wanna sleep again!!arghhH..

ok...gotta rush out now..be back to blog again tonight! i miss Thailand..

sawasdeekrap! mai phen rai krap!



wWeeeee.....

memories......

last year morning service before pst benny hinn! with my beloved cg!



And this is my darling!! i love him sooooo much.. my jogging partner too! time to start again!

my next project..
-yoshimura exhaust system
-new paint job
-new tires
-full service

I am so tired!!

ok...finally i am home. just went to thompson for bak chor mee.. but ended up eating laksa. its nice=)

Feb called and told me she's sick..poor thing..tho she is older than i am in terms of months, i really treat her as my little sister. there's jus something about her that makes me want to protect her. so peeps out ther,dun u bully her! otherwise you can choose which bike u want me to bang u with! haha..kidding. i'm too nice for that.

I am having this craving for KTV!! i wan to sing!! i jus feel so relaxed each time after a KTV session! just went last sunday with the talentime finalists. They are a bunch of fun people! really thank God for them! anyway, xinyi was quite funny..send me a sms in the morning to jio me for KTV tmr which is today. she asked me to go and then wan to make me the organiser..sometimes i really don't understand women. they are uniquely weird or weirdly unique. you decide.

been a long day...quite exhausted!

anyway, i bumped into samuel today!! really feel very happy everytime i see him! so proud of him! If ever you read my blog which i think not, i want you to know that i am so proud of you bro! your an inspiration! dinner soon man!! really soon i hope! we jus keep saying but always so busy!haha.

at this point, i really miss a couple of people in my life!

1) Arton (my indonesia bro!) i really hope to see you soon. if i have the chance, i will go to indonesia! i promise!

2) Yu Ren (my taiwanese bro!) have not seen you for 3yrs? man... bro u gotta come back soon!

3) mu yin (taiwanese sis!) hey girl!! i miss u so much. praying for you always! come back!visit me before i go ns!

4) Raymond (BUDDY!!) faster come back from isreal! lets go KTV! so much to share with you bro!

5) last but not least, My Girlfriend!! Elle.. pls learn as much as you can from the mission trip. don't fall asleep in service ok! when you come back then we go out.. I have been praying for you everytime i think of you! see ya soon =)


and hey.. to all my friends out there... i really treasure every moment we have spend together! regardless whether you are a guy/girl/half.. you are all God-sent! thanks for believing in me.. thanks for your friendships! i hope that this cedric have at least impacted your lives somehow or another..


i am soo tired now.. i am gonna report to zhou1 gong1 now.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!RVF!!!! WAVE!!!!

Interesting day it was...

today i went for my lesson.. oh mine.. how in the world can a drummer play so well?!!he's good like MAD!(jus as my small friend would put it) i am so proud to be my teacher's student man! I asked him to demo some fusion grooves for me to see.. and i was totally blown away! in case you do not know him.. he is Jimmy Lee. And he is going on a gig with SUN this july! cool isnt it?

then after that, i rushed back home to change my bike...because.. RVF is like an oven! already i'm baking under the hot afternoon sun..

then i met up with eigene and sebastian for lunch! it was really a very very humid day. then we went to PS for ice cream. ok, jus the day before i was saying that i am determine to shed some weight.. oh well.. we'll see how it goes.

ok.. and then i met up with Andrew,Chrislyn,Ivan(im at his house now!). we went to sengkang to wash bike! haha..this is so funny. come to think of it.. we have explored many parts of singapore already and now we are back to square 1..washing bikes at carparks! just like before we could ride..

I am quite tired physically now...really feel like slping.. but i also feel like having a night ride. need some time to relax. so many things have been happening...it all seemed so fast. tomorrow is thurs...gotta teach too!!

anyway, ivan jus finished bathing..time for us tyo meet andrew... will blog again when im home!


ciaoz..

testing... is it fixed?

i jus realised.... the timing is sa-la one.. how do i change it? maybe after a nap it might just re-adjust itself. ok...

-peace out-

Whats next after becoming a blogger?

so..the coolness part is over. back to reality. what are the things i wanna share in my blog? mr. blogspot.. can you teach me what to blog? Mr. blogspot.. how do you earn money letting people create free acounts and start writting all over you. thats so sad ya know. i wouldnt let anyone pen their feelings on me. how sad right? i sympatise with you. but thank you for being so kind anyway..i love you!

ok... its 1.10pm now. i ve got a long day ahead..at 2.30pm i have my drums lesson with my teacher! he is fantastic! looks are so deceiving..if i saw him in the past, i would have probably thought that he was some uncle going to the market..so the next time you get onto the train, better start being nice to everyone around you. they might just end up being the C.E.O of microsoft. and why would he take MRT? i also dunno.

ok...then after got to teach again. then i am quite free at night because elle is in China. normally she will ask me to meet her for dinner. ELLE! dun grow any fatter!! we are suppose to lose weight rem??

this month has been a very trying one for me.. so many things happening like i mentioned. But God is a faithful God. somehow,somewhere,sometime.. i know He will provide. He is with me. I win.

I always had this mentality.. God works for my best.. just like the sms i received many many years ago..

"Dear God, thank you for making me healthy, could you also make me pretty. If you cant make me pretty then pls make all my friends fat. Amen"

i really think that God might just do jus that for me. why? i dunno. He is biased. He loves me. He adores me. He wants to spend time with me every single moment. and... most importantly, i LOVE HIM to bits. because he never ever ever ever EVEEeeerrrr give up on me even though i have always been the unfaithful one. with men its so different, you jus need to be unfaithful once and thats it..everything's history. God.. your my abba, daddy God. Your the coolest thing i ever had and will ever have!

Restore to me daily the joy of my salvation! Let me live and keep your word. do not let my heart be lifted but always a pure heart of loving and serving You all the days of my life till the day we meet. I am Yours to take. Love you..

In Jesus name..

I have become a blogger!!!

wow..this is so interesting. everything also can choose. templates even! but i think if i could use my photo as my template, that would have been the best. anyhow, i chose this black looking thingy because i thing that reflects my coolness. ahha.joking.

ok...so for the golden question.. why beanybeansbun? this is unique.. firstly, a small friend of mine told me that people are able to do a blog-search and can easily find another blogger. i dunno but i think that a blog is an online diary. i wouldnt even let my mum read mine if i had one! so why would i choose one that's like... cedric@blogspot.com..

and of course because i am in love with tau sar bao. simple? cool.

recently so many things have been happening! sometimes, i feel that it is really driving me nuts, not that i am already not but it is driving me nutsier..ok. (is there such a word? =/)

but i have learn that in all things, to give thanks.. IN all things and not FOR all things. I feel that my capacity as a person can grow..my threshold for mental and emotional pains can go to the next level..haha.

you know sometimes that Mr. S.a Tan really amazes me. i wonder what feeds his mind that he seems to have 1001 things to sabo anyone. he really makes a good cell group game master. ok...if he join my cell group i will make him in charge of it.

I FEEL SO COOL!! becasue im a BLOGGER!!!! wooohoooo...